lola's quirks and everything curious

Gone

2007-12-28T16:07:00.000+08:00

This person is no longer here.

Perhaps she has gone to find another land she can be happier in, perhaps she has gone to find herself or perhaps she has willed herself into obscurity.

If we are meant to be, someday it will be.

The Pond Lily

2007-12-18T13:43:00.000+08:00

I'm exhausted and feel like sleeping forever but a little part of me wants to soak in that jacuzzi treat tonight, soak away the fears and worries, soak away the dirt that gathered under my skin, soak away the fatigue, soak away the part of me i loathe and i can't help but feel a little excited at 2008.

A new year is always my excuse for a new start.

Nirvana

2007-11-23T01:49:00.000+08:00

I'm confused if i should feel gratituous to you. When you sent me Elbosco's "Nirvana", i bet you did not think of the underlying meaning - to set me free even though i could not see it then and blamed you after.

Elbosco's "Nirvana" spoke to me volumes hence after about the world of the needy and being positive. I always hear it without listening carefully enough to it.

You gave me hell these years but yet, even though you were unaware, you were kind enough to give me Nirvana. That I realized much later but better late than never.

For that I thank you and with this, our entwining fate came officially to an end. I learnt it the hard way, now i am going to live the easy way.

A dedication to someone

2007-11-20T15:32:00.000+08:00

I am sorry for it was me who said we will be friends forever but I could not keep the promise. So I am a liar but I learnt never to make the same mistake of uttering such impulsive remarks again. But this is life and so with a jaunty step forward and struggling never to look back, we lead our lives the way we think is best for us. Still, I wish you all the best and it is with my heart for i have never changed, only hardened but i promise i am still the same.

To the person who had been a friend, more than a friend and ended up being none.

Love drives us quite mad

2007-11-20T10:18:00.000+08:00

I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of everything but seeing you again. My life seems to stop there, I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I were dissolving. I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion... I have shudder'd at it... I shudder no more. I could be martyr'd for my religion: Love is my religion. I could die for that. I could die for you. My creed is love, and you are its only tenet. You have ravish'd me away by a power I cannot resist.
- letter written by John Keats

Love drives us quite mad and we lose ourselves in the quest just to be loved. This is too scary, seeing how people are consumed wholly by it.

Heartache

2007-09-12T11:32:00.000+08:00

I could not claim that I have never loved ... when I had you lingering in the recesses of my consciousness. You were a fragment of a past I am more than willing to forget and deceived myself into thinking that I had forgotten on various occasions. The sly shard of buried moments escaped my cursory detection and seared through a thick wall of defense, to hurt the tender flesh beneath, to leave me broken.

Maybe a silent departure for you is meant to be my gentle reprieve but in ways you never knew, i was tortured in the years after. I kept thinking i could have done much more so that you would never want to leave. I could treat you better, i could be less demanding, i could be prettier for you, i could help you if you need.

If i could spend the money to erase you from my memory, I would gladly buy the eternal sunshine a spotless mind gives. I would not recollect the places we had been. I would revoke the warmth on nights our tangled bodies evoked. I would push away the hand that tenderly played with my wayward hair. I would scorn the laughing tone that was used to regard my dream. I would forget you as a being. I can't hate you since i loved you but i would never forget how you repaid me in return.

I think we will ...

2007-09-01T05:40:00.000+08:00

I think we will gradually forget.

In chronological order, i thnk we will start by forgetting the little things about each other that only close friends used to know. I think we will gradually forget ... the types of food preferred and the knack of how to make each other smile. I think we will gradually forget ... the quirky habits we learnt to get used to and is characteristic of each other. I think we will forget .. to brighten up when the other person's name was mentioned. I think we will forget .. each other's birthday and how we first met. I think we will forget ... the memories that provided us with sweetness. I think we will forget ... the hurt we've caused each other. I think we will forget ... the clarity of each other's features. I think we will forget ... that we used to guard a space in our heart for each other. I think we will forget ... each other's presence.

I think we will finally forget .. each other ever made a difference.

Lantau Island

2007-08-23T13:33:00.000+08:00

The path to wisdom is long and ardous and we bear testimony to the fact as we trudged through quiet, wet paths strewn with fallen leaves in silent comaraderie.

The fruit of our labour culminated at the sight of 38 poles carved with lines of Heart Sutra with the most gorgeous backdrop of mountain ranges, little islands littering the vast sea. Low lying clouds drifted lazily and it seems that if you really stretch out your hands, you could tear a bit of the cotton candyness and keep it with you.

Lantau island with its Tian Tan Buddha is an amazing sight. 268 flights of steps. It seems that they do not believe your devotion till they make you work for it.

Another highlight - I've always wanted to go round a curvy mountain road and I did.

Some reading could do me good ..

2007-08-03T11:29:00.000+08:00

Suddenly feel like burying myself in mountains of books now...

And I want to read the Agnes chapter in Milan Kundera's "Immortality" all over again just because I was reminded by it.

Working with basics

2007-07-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

A clap of the hands when placed in front of the mouth which adopts different shapes as and when needed can produce it's own type of music - music at it's most basic, music that crosses boundaries, music you, me and everyone of us can do too.

Epiphany gained from a lost balloon

2007-07-14T20:34:00.000+08:00

Just a simple red balloon floating aimlessly in the air is propelled by the powerful fists of many as it sailed through the crowd consisting of thousands. None is willing to let the red balloon drop, none is willing to stop its carefree life and it's continuity symbolizes a harmonious thought - to keep going.

And we did.

A blog post in the rainforest

2007-07-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

I'm in the heart of the Borneo rainforest right now and a Scottish band is brandishing its folksy tunes with banjos and other stringed instruments.

I am still impressed by the fact that GPRS is still covered here because it allows me to blog live!

Tara and I were talking about my "Iridescence" post in Facebook and we found paddle pops (the childhood ice-cream that melts so gloriously in our mouths) in the same rainbow shade as the clouds. Belle suggested that maybe paddle pops were really made from frozen coloured clouds and it just might be possible!

Okay, it's just a quick update. I don't want to go into specifics till I am back with photographs. We reunited with this old man, Jerry whom we befriended last year at this same festival.

All is good and all is well. We will be back soon.

Love, Oddlola & friends

(This post is made possible by my very reliable BlackBerry 8700G with intermittent sucky M1's auto-roaming)

Mackerel Sky

2007-06-28T10:27:00.000+08:00

This morning, tired as usual from the long travelling distance I was subjected to on a daily basis, I was a little perked up at the sight of the clouds.

"Mackerel sky, mackerel sky. Never long wet and never long dry."

The trip to Hong Kong has been planned and determined for August and I am spending my birthday there. I've never been away on my birthday and maybe this is a good omen for a better year ahead.

Or maybe i'm just feeling unusually cheerful because it's Payday.